Individual Needs in the Classroom

Every day, the teachers at CALO work with the students in a multitude of ways.  One student might do better if they are able to read aloud, while another student might do better if they work in absolute silence.  No two students at CALO are alike and the academic department strives to make sure we daily meet their daily needs. 

 There are no average students at CALO.  All of them are different and exceptional in their own way.  However many come in behind in both academic credits and in their organizational skills.  This is where the teachers make their first intervention.  We get to know our students with a small interview and start the work on their individualized educational plan.  We assess their learning styles and help place them into a program designed to best accommodate their needs. 

Each student is designated to a specific Lead Teacher.  This teacher helps monitor their academic progress in every way.  They fill out daily monitoring reports, send weekly/biweekly updates to parents, meet monthly with therapists, help maintain educational plans and report constantly to the academic director.  All of this, and they work with the students daily. 

When the students come to the classroom, they begin working on their scheduled course work which is either chosen by themselves or their lead teacher.  During their time in school, they might have a lesson in math or art or learn about a different time period in history.  For the entire class period, they are kept busy and involved in their lessons.

We have experienced great success with our academic model.  Students have graduated high school while here at CALO; they are able to immediately start taking college coursework and preparing themselves even more for their future.  In addition, we are able to aid students by helping them with their college application process.  A few weeks ago, one of our young ladies received her highly anticipated acceptance letter to the four year college of her choice.   

The CALO Academic Department prides itself on making sure that we work to the needs of the student; the students do not work to the needs of the teachers.  CALO students take the courses that they need; and every single aspect of school is individualized. 

With apologies to MD's everywhere I would like to give a very short lesson on the brain and its development. I am hopeful that a short synopsis of some of what we know about the brain will then help us understand some of what can positively impact the brain in later, teenage life. So here goes:

The brain can be subdivided into three regions--the hindbrain, the midbrain, and the forebrain. The hindbrain is where autonomic bodily control is regulated. Food consumption, hunger, digestion, food search, breathing, various senses, etc. are regulated and controlled here. In general, the feeling of "I need, I will go get what I need" for physical well being comes from this area of the brain. The midbrain is where relationships with others are felt and where physical proximity is interpreted as good or bad. Touch with emotional meaning is interpreted here. To some extent, love is felt here. The forebrain is where cognition is accomplished. It is the part of the brain that uses rational argument, that formulates sentences, that writes in this blog and uses logic. It is the part of the brain that allows us to think about our existence in existential terms.

Various activities and life events operate more substantially on just one of these three regions of the brain at any given time. During early formative years, keeping a child away from food would activate his/her hindbrain and keep the child in a survival mode in ways that would adversely affect brain development. In ways, the child would become partly stuck in base survival activities. S/he might hoard food. S/he might run away and try to survive on his/her own. Another child who is given food, shelter, and water, but who is abused sexually from birth to pre-adolescence might then learn that sex is to be used in relationships to get what s/he wants. S/he might be promiscuous. S/he might always look through a lens of who has the power in any given situation and then try to align with the power players in the environment. Or s/he might try to always maintain the power position by intimidation and manipulation. That would be what s/he has learned from abuse and control.

The teens we work with at CALO come from situations where the hindbrain and midbrain were developing in abusive or neglectful situations. More...

Two months ago CALO students were given the challenge to do something difficult; to be totally selfless and invested in the well being of someone in need. Throughout the holiday season they spent their recreational therapy time planning different activities to benefit people in need.

 After much discussion our girls decided to sponsor 15 children without families at the Evangelical Children’s Home (ECH) in St. Louis.  They chose to work with these children because of the similar pasts they shared and the connection they felt.  They could relate to some of the feelings and emotions that accompanied their circumstances.  Through the organizational efforts of numerous service projects, and with the support of many families, friends and community members, our girls raised enough money to purchase 15 duffel bags and fill each one of them with gifts, clothing, treats and supplies to bless the lives of these children in need. Tears were shed and stories were exchanged as we traveled to ECH and delivered our care packages. 

 Our boys also wanted to serve a group of kids that they could relate to.  They worked hard to purchase entertainment materials for the children at the Missouri Baptist Children’s Home in St. Louis.  After holding a raffle drawing, shoveling snow from driveways, and requesting the support from family members and local community members, our boys were able to replace televisions and purchase Rock Band and other Wii accessories for foster children who had been taken out of unsafe living situations and were living in a full lock down facility waiting for the state to find safe opportunities for them to succeed.  It was truly amazing and inspiring to watch our young men interact and spend time with others.  The selflessness of their service was evident as they helped kids in desperate and cheerless situations forget about their pain and sadness for just a few short hours. More...

When defining the goal of treatment, Calo focuses on living INTERDEPENDENTLY through establishing a foundation of Trust of Care, Trust of Control, and Trust of Self.  Within these elements exists the emotional goal which is most accurately represented by the term Acceptance.  Authentic acceptance is the emotional goal and often becomes sabotaged by trauma, abandonment, negative core beliefs, and feelings of worthlessness.  These emotional factors create behaviors which serve to push others away, create anger, lack of empathy, aggression, self-harm, and a host of other destructive actions. All three of the factors (Behavior, Emotion, and Acceptance) make up the framework for reaching “The Emotional Goal”.

The Emotional Goal diagram (see below) is a template used with staff, parents, and therapist to effectively create interactions which are meaningful, safe, and purposeful.

    Behavior                    Manage/Recognize Behavior (provide safety)

         ↓                                                 ↓

   EMOTION                        IDENTIFY EMOTION (curiosity, non-judgmental)

         ↓                                                 ↓

ACCEPTANCE                IMPLEMENT ACCEPTANCE (safe touch, attunement)

The diagram portrays the movement of interaction as going from behavior, through emotion, and reaching the goal of acceptance.  Since all interactions between individuals begin at the behavioral level, it becomes the starting point of being able to move toward identifying emotions.  Often, the parent/guardian has been able to recognize the behavior and then the interaction with the child becomes about altering the behavior through a rational appeal (advice/lecturing) which is authentically caring but ineffective. 

The Emotional Goal diagrams that the interaction needs to move from the behavior to appropriate recognition of emotions (sadness, shame, rejection, anger, etc.).  Identification of emotion is facilitated through the use of active listening, reflection, empathy, curiosity, and a heart of peace.  Once the emotions have safely been identified, then the interaction and relationship can move toward the most powerful agent of change, Acceptance. 

Acceptance is achieved through the experience of attunement and authentically sharing in the previously identified emotions.  Creating acceptance requires the interaction to move to a place of vulnerability and for the parent, guardian, staff, and therapist, to implement safe touch, matching of affect, selfless empathy, unconditional regard, safe boundaries (vertical relationship), and permission to feel.  Acceptance is action based and relies on the experience not just the words. 

Again and again, the students at Calo reaffirm that what they truly desire is to be accepted and that their behaviors are a result of their feeling of being unacceptable.  The Emotion Goal approach creates the experience of acceptance and allows for interaction to become about personal value and worth versus shame associated with strictly trying to change behaviors. 

"My son is doing great!!! There is such a change in him. He seems really happy to be at home. I have noticed that he has gotten real close to his father and I feel that when he shows affection to me he truly means it. I never noticed this before CALO - I guess all of the times before he just said he loved me because he thought he was supposed to. I really think he does now. CALO saved our family."

-Parent quote in regard to a student's progress following completion of the CALO program.

Some of you are reading the title of this post and remembering a suspenseful thriller that came out about a decade ago starring Harrison Ford. The movie title, of course, took on double meaning in that there was literally something lying beneath the surface of the lake adjacent to his home and the main character had his hidden double life exposed. 

CALO families must also remember to examine what lies beneath student emotions.  One of the most prevailing themes of individuals who have experienced trauma and/or disrupted attachment is the apparent craving of power and control.  When one takes a step back and truly examines “what lies beneath” these individuals, it is not surprising to discover that a young person who had innocence stripped often lacks the ability to trust and form meaningful attachment to caregivers.  When a child believes they can no longer trust others s/he has a choice: wither away and die or find a way to survive.  Our students are survivors. That is the good news.  It is also the bad news.  Survivors often are left to develop core beliefs about themselves, others, and the world—“I don’t trust others,” “adults are not dependable,” “I must take care of myself,” “the world is unsafe.” As a result, survivors subsequently practice and develop talents of manipulating boundaries, relationships, and programs in order to continue to survive and hold on to their core beliefs.

With this quick attachment and trauma 101 lesson in mind, parents are urged to continually answer the question, “what lies beneath?”  When your son is sabotaging his relationship with you, what lies beneath?  When your daughter defies every boundary you give her, what lies beneath?  When you try to lead your family in positive ways and your adolescent is determined to be the one in charge, what lies beneath?  I propose what lies beneath power and control is usually fear and anxiety.  “Huh?” you may be thinking.  “My child is incredibly powerful and domineering in those moments and not fearful and anxious” you might also add.  If so, I will point you back to the reality that your child is actually a survivor and is trying to maintain control so their life is not headed for more heartache (loss, abandonment, rejection, depression, etc.)

“Okay, so what do I do?”  More...

GRADUATION!

Recently I had the pleasure of conducting a High School graduation ceremony for a CALO Student.  For privacy sake, I will call this young man Bill. 

Bill came to CALO very behind in his studies.  In all actuality, he was over a full semester behind.  He should have been an 11^th grader, but was still trying to complete the second semester of 10^th grade.  I was assigned to be his lead teacher and after our first initial meeting, I realized that I had my work cut out for me. 

I tried engaging this young man in conversation and didn’t get very far.  I tried asking him questions about his interests, likes/dislikes, favorite subjects and his goals for the future…no response.  The only information that I did get was that he did not like school.  I won’t say he hated it, but the feeling wasn’t far off.  That was the “start” to our educational journey together.

After the first couple of weeks in school, I was stuck.  More...

Writer James Truslow Adams was the first to coin the term "American Dream," writing in 1931 that it was "that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement." As noted in the initial blog a few months ago the recent events in our nation and the impact these events have had on the “American Dream” are requiring families to take a hard look at their finances. This is especially true when it is determined that their child needs residential treatment. Families are understandably anxious and tenuous in regard to their financial security and future. CALO continues to search for ways to help families by finding and securing outside full or partial funding sources.

Recent additions to our efforts include the following: 

CALO also works hard to help families secure all or partial reimbursement from their private health insurance provider. Families have had success in both areas while enrolled at CALO. 

While outside funding sources require an extensive amount of paperwork, time, and energy, the effort is more than worth it to support our current families and to provide a treatment option for families that otherwise would not be able to utilize CALO for their child.  

Please feel free to contact Nicole Fuglsang, Admissions Director for questions about potential funding supports in your area.

Every so often we receive communication from former students and parents of students. It is nice to hear how they are doing and what they are up to. I recently received a letter from a parent whose daughter had returned home seven weeks ago. The parent was giving us an update and had this to say about his daughter, who I will call Julia. He wrote: “As of today, Julia has been home for 7 weeks. To date, we have had no ‘volcanic behavioral eruptions.’ Whenever Julia has been anywhere close to a meltdown, she draws upon the coping skills learned at CALO, which certainly includes spending time with her dog, Anya. We continue regular therapy with Diana Giest, the wonderful attachment therapist you met during her visit to CALO last summer, which has been helpful. Ken, it’s difficult to put into words how much it means to Mom and Dad to not have to be ‘hypervigilent’ in our parenting, to protect Julia from poor choices. At this time of year especially, we are thankful to you and your colleagues at CALO for their help and support. You do amazing work!”

That letter alone was quite kind and I am grateful for this parent’s words. That parent then sent a handwritten note from Julia. Here is that letter. Just click on the pdf below:

student EK letter.pdf (1.00 mb)

This was a “payday” letter and the reason we do what we do at CALO. Just wanted to share it with you.