Every so often we receive communication from former students and parents of students. It is nice to hear how they are doing and what they are up to. I recently received a letter from a parent whose daughter had returned home seven weeks ago. The parent was giving us an update and had this to say about his daughter, who I will call Julia. He wrote: “As of today, Julia has been home for 7 weeks. To date, we have had no ‘volcanic behavioral eruptions.’ Whenever Julia has been anywhere close to a meltdown, she draws upon the coping skills learned at CALO, which certainly includes spending time with her dog, Anya. We continue regular therapy with Diana Giest, the wonderful attachment therapist you met during her visit to CALO last summer, which has been helpful. Ken, it’s difficult to put into words how much it means to Mom and Dad to not have to be ‘hypervigilent’ in our parenting, to protect Julia from poor choices. At this time of year especially, we are thankful to you and your colleagues at CALO for their help and support. You do amazing work!”

That letter alone was quite kind and I am grateful for this parent’s words. That parent then sent a handwritten note from Julia. Here is that letter. Just click on the pdf below:

student EK letter.pdf (1.00 mb)

This was a “payday” letter and the reason we do what we do at CALO. Just wanted to share it with you.

Expectations and Graduation

Families and their students need to be prepared for what will happen emotionally and behaviorally after graduation.  Their experience up to that point has been filled with challenging and productive family sessions, individual sessions, family visitations, and home visits, which have produced an ability to communicate, have accountability, abide by visitation contracts, adhere to expectations, and repair the relationship when break has occurred.  These experiences have had the momentum and immediacy of the programs structure and accountability to propel them forward.  At some point after graduation, the momentum is greatly reduced and difficulties inevitably arise.  

It is essential that the family and student prepare with the therapist for the experience of how to work through disconnection, dysregulation, frustration, anger, avoidance, and testing of the contract and relationship.   These emotional and behavioral states are going to occur and both the student and family must develop a plan and maintain the foresight to see success beyond those immediate moments. Developing a plan for success depends greatly on the factors contributing toward post discharge success.  The three greatest factors are (Thayne 2009): More...