In her compelling book, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge addresses the need for adoptive parents to initiate conversations with their children about their birth families.  I would like to share a few highlights on this important topic.

Adoptee Perspective

In spite of the innocence that adoptees portray, many carry a false burden of shame.  It would not be uncommon to discover the hidden thoughts of an adoptee: “Did I do something to make my other mom mad at me and give me away?” “I think my birth mother didn’t like me.”  “Was there something bad about my birth dad?”

Know that a mixture of feelings towards the birth parents—the birth mother in particular—is common with adoptees.  The feelings include but are not limited to fantasy, anger, victimization, and love.  More...