Dear Parent(s)/Guardian(s),

Confused by some of the CALO language?  Is the CALO model still a bit foreign?  Feel like you are on a rollercoaster of progress?  Wondering what to do after CALO?

We are here to help!  On the eve of our parent retreat, Wednesday May 9^th, please join us for a parent dinner at 5:15 PM in our CALO conference room.  After dinner begins we will have a presentation aimed to help parents better understand the ins and outs of CALO, navigate the ups and downs of residential treatment and predict and prepare for post CALO life.  Some of you may have been through this presentation at prior seminars or retreats.  If not, we hope to see you there.  The orientation will be conducted by a few of our therapists.  Please RSVP attendance with your CALO therapist.  We expect to finish a bit after 7 PM.

5^th Semi-Annual Spring CALO Parent Retreat

Thursday May 10^th - Friday May 11^th   

Theme: “Living In the Growth Zone”

Parents/Guardians,

As most of you know we are closing in on our fifth semi-annual parent retreat Thursday May 10^th - Friday May 11^th.  As is the case with every retreat, there are lots of questions so this blog post is set to answer those and help you prepare to make this retreat a success. We receive consistent feedback that nearly all parents/guardians (hereafter referred to as parents) continue to enjoy our retreats a great deal.

The retreat is for all current and former CALO parents and students. The only exceptions are those students who may be unsafe to attend (see your CALO therapist). In order to attend we need you to please RSVP to your current or former CALO therapist by Friday April 13^th. We need to provide final projections to the retreat hosts by this date so they can plan for spacing and food. Please note that all participating parents will be responsible for the supervision and welfare of their CALO student during the retreat time. This includes overnight (please discuss concerns with therapist prior to retreat).

Thursday Highlights

Parent Breakfast (8:00 AM) in CALO conference room

Parent Seminar

Travel to retreat location

Therapeutic Activities

Parent Support Groups

Campfire Activity

Friday Highlights

Therapeutic Activities

Family Time

Slide Show

Ending around 2:30PM or so (may change slightly)

Clothing/Gear List

Hat

Rain/wind jacket

Shirts

Shorts/pants

Socks/Shoes

Sandals

Underwear

Sunscreen

Insect repellant

Lip balm

Toiletries (including soap and shampoo)

Flashlight

Conservative and appropriate swimwear

Towels for bathing and water activities

Sleeping attire

Camera (confidentiality restrictions) - only pictures of you, your student, facilities and/or staff (no other pictures of students)

No pocket knives, weapons, fireworks, matches, or other dangerous items

Parents are strongly discouraged from bringing excessive or distracting items (i.e. I-Pods, cell phones, etc.)

Q&A

Will CALO and/or the retreat location be providing bedding, pillows and/or towels for this retreat?

·         CALO will arrange for students attending to have their sleeping bag, pillow, and towel. Parents, however, will want to bring 1) a sleeping bag or blankets, 2) a pillow and 3) bathing towel.  *Hint:  Some parents flying to the retreat may want to consider buying a less expensive sleeping bag or blankets in the arrival city instead of paying for this as extra luggage. 

Will I be sleeping on a bed with a mattress or are we camping?

·         All students and parents will sleep on a bed with a mattress.

What are the sleeping arrangements like?

·         This retreat will feature family lodging.  Each family will either have a private, large cabin with bunk-beds or sleep in a duplex unit with traditional beds and mattresses (students sleeping on the floor).  Families in duplexes will share the duplex space with another family or with CALO staff.  Each duplex has one bathroom. The cabins utilize a centralized large bathhouse with many private showers, sinks and restrooms. 

What if I get hungry?

·         You may bring your own snacks but CALO will be providing water/drinks and a variety of snacks. CALO will also provide three meals on Thursday and two meals on Friday. We do not receive feedback that anyone goes hungry on retreats.

How strenuous will this be?

·         We try to be sensitive and understanding of any physical limitations parents may have. Wearing comfortable clothing and good walking shoes is a must (there will be a fair amount of walking). It would also be wise to rest up before the retreat as we do want to maximize our time together. Parents with special needs or circumstances should make these clearly known to the CALO therapist.

What will the weather be like?

·         We experienced a mild winter here in mid Missouri.  Because the retreat is in May, check the weather forecasts before the trip. Plan on fluctuating temperatures from the 80’s during the day to 50’s during late evening-morning hours. It would also be wise to anticipate rain and wind.

What are the costs for this?  Do I need to bring any spending money?

·         Our plan is for parent retreats to continue to be a part of tuition. This retreat is no different as there are no additional costs to parents. Depending on future locations and costs, we may ask parents to pay a portion of the expenses. However, we will do everything possible to create a variety of experiences during our retreats while trying to keep costs down. So far we feel like we have done that. 

What if I have an off campus or home visit right after the retreat?

·         Please be in close contact with your CALO therapist about post-retreat plans.  We want to make the transition as smooth as possible so families are able to leave the retreat and immediately begin off-campus visits without an extra return trip to CALO if possible.  In order for this to happen your therapist needs details (exact times of visits, medication expectations, off campus belongings needed, etc.)

When do I need to show up for the retreat and when will it end?

·         Please arrive at CALO on Thursday morning around 8:00am but no later than 8:10am.  Please head straight to the conference room for breakfast.  The retreat will end by 2:30 or 3:00PM on Friday.

My child is asking for me to bring his I-Pod, l-Pad, and/or other electronic.  What should I do?

·         Tell him you are looking forward to the retreat focusing on your relationship and you would rather not have distractions.  We strongly discourage parents from bringing any electronic equipment to the retreat for students to use. 

What if I get nervous, anxious or concerned about my child’s behavior and/or safety during the retreat?

·         Stay in frequent communication with your therapist and coaches.  Feel free to ask for help or support at any time. 

How else should I prepare for the retreat?

·         We are entering the third year of CALO retreats.  Previous retreats have evidenced this time to be very effective in creating safe, meaningful, and lasting memories with your CALO students, CALO staff and other CALO families in attendance. Please be prepared to learn, grow, and connect.

We look forward to seeing you in May!

Dear parents and guardians (hereafter referred to as parents),

I am pleased to confirm dates for our spring parent retreat. The dates will be Thursday May 10^th - Friday May 11^th.  We hope all of you will begin making preparations to attend (please confirm and coordinate with your CALO therapist). Here is a quick list to help you get started:

What?  Fifth Semi-Annual CALO Parent Retreat.

When? Thursday May 10th – Friday May 11^th (parents/guardians will want to travel no later than Wednesday May 9^th).

Who? Parents are invited.  We are unable to accommodate grandparents, siblings, and so forth.  Students of attending parents will participate.

Where? A retreat location at Lake of the Ozarks (we will have you meet us at CALO on Thursday morning for a breakfast and seminar and we will either transport you to the location or give you directions so you can drive yourself).

Why? This will mark the third consecutive year we will have parent retreats at CALO.  The purpose for these retreats is primarily to empower parents with more skills and resources, allow a safe and connecting experience for parents and child to be vulnerable and heal, allow parents to rub shoulders and support one another and to allow parents to better connect with CALO staff. 

Cost? There will be no charge to parents to attend this retreat other than expenses accrued during travel.

Pack? I will send out a packing list at least two months before the retreat but I can tell you now it will not be too cumbersome.  A future blog will have more details. 

We look forward to seeing you there!

Dear Parent(s)/Guardian(s),

It's been a few months since we have reminded you so we wanted you be aware of our upcoming Winter (Thanksgiving) parent seminar. The last few years we have had a parent seminar the day before Thanksgiving and this year we will be doing the same. Please, if you can make it, plan on attending our next parent seminar on Wednesday November 23rd at 12:30PM. Between 12:15-12:25PM please make your way into our dining room to grab a tray of lunch and then head to the conference room with your lunch by 12:30pm so we can start on time. The seminar will be an hour and a half aimed on core beliefs. The seminar will be led by two of our great therapists, Amanda and Evan. After the seminar we will have a short break before having a parent support group. Please notify your treating therapist if you will be in attendance just as soon as you know if you are coming so we can get an accurate head count. We look forward to seeing you!

We invite all parent(s)/guardian(s) to please check this blog and the parent portal regularly. We post information about upcoming events in these locations so you can plan ahead as we know you have much to juggle. You may also wish to sign up for blog notifications by simply entering your e-mail address in the space provided on this page before clicking, "Notify me." 

Thursday September 1^st - Friday September 2^nd  

Theme:  Making Things Go Right

Parents/Guardians,

As most of you know by now we are less than a month away from our fourth semi-annual parent retreat Thursday September 1^st - Friday September 2nd. Naturally there are lots of questions so this blog post is here to answer and provide details.

While each retreat has a similar structure, the retreat this year, based on parent feedback from our spring retreat, will be more practical and skill-set focused. Most parents/guardians (hereafter referred to as parents) continue to enjoy our retreats a great deal. In fact, suggestions for improvement dropped considerably in our Spring retreat which indicates we are finding our sweet spot. The consistent piece of feedback is the desire for more tangible, “take-home” tools while still maintaining the other benefits of the retreat (interacting with other parents/families, interacting with CALO staff, support groups, being off campus, no cost to parents, and spending quality time in a structured environment with CALO student).

This retreat will mark the fourth different location in as many events; providing another unique experience with a variety of activities/events.

The retreat is for all current and former CALO parents and students. In order to attend we need you to please RSVP your current or former CALO therapist if you have not already done so by this Friday, August 12^th as we need to provide final numbers to the retreat hosts. Please note that all participating parents will be responsible for their student during the retreat time (please discuss concerns with therapist prior to retreat).

Thursday Highlights

Parent Breakfast (8:00 AM) in CALO conference room

Parent Seminar

Travel to retreat location

Therapeutic Activities

Parent Support Groups

Friday Highlights

Therapeutic Activities

Family Time

Slide Show

Ending around 2:30PM or so (may change slightly)

Clothing/Gear List

Hat

Rain jacket

Shirts

Shorts/pants

Socks/Shoes

Sandals

Underwear

Sunscreen

Insect repellant

Lip balm

Toiletries including soap and shampoo

Flashlight

Conservative and appropriate swimwear

Towels

Sleeping attire

Camera (confidentiality restrictions) - only pictures of you, your student, facilities and/or staff (no other pictures of students)

No pocket knives, weapons, fireworks, matches, or other dangerous tiems

Parents are strongly discouraged from bringing excessive or distracting items (i.e. I-Pods, cell phones, etc.)

Q&A

Will CALO or the retreat location be providing bedding, pillows and/or towels for this retreat?

·         CALO will arrange for students attending to have their sleeping bag, pillow, and towel. Parents, however, will just need to bring a towel as linens will be provided. 

Do I need to bring any food or snacks?

·         You may bring your own snacks but CALO will be providing water/drinks and a variety of snacks. CALO/retreat will also provide three meals on Thursday and two meals on Friday. 

How strenuous will this be?

·        We try to be sensitive and understanding of any physical limitations parents may have. Wearing comfortable clothing and good walking shoes is a must. It would also be wise to rest up before the retreat as we do want to maximize our time together. Parents with special needs or circumstances should make these clearly known to the CALO therapist as soon as possible. In addition, parents wishing to rent a golf cart may do so for $20. The cost will cover usage on both Thursday and Friday (students are not permitted to drive the carts). Please let your CALO therapist know of this request as soon as you can.

What will the weather be like?

·         We have experienced a very hot summer here in mid Missouri and it should be plenty warm during the retreat as well. Check the weather forecasts before the trip but plan on fluctuating temperatures from the 90’s during the day to 60’s during late evening-morning hours. It would also be wise to anticipate rain and wind.

What are the costs for this?  Do I need to bring any spending money?

·         Our plan is for parent retreats to continue to be a part of tuition. This retreat is no different as there are no additional costs to parents. Depending on future locations and costs, we may ask parents to pay a portion of the expenses. However, we will do everything possible to create a variety of experiences during our retreats while trying to keep costs down. So far we feel like we have done that. 

What are the sleeping arrangements like?

·         This retreat will feature motel sleeping arrangements. Each family will have their own unit featuring two double beds. Students with two parents visiting will bring their own sleeping pad, sleeping bag and pillow and sleep on the floor. Each motel room has running water, restrooms, showers, and electrical outlets.

What if I have an off campus or home visit right after the retreat?

·         Please be in close contact with your CALO therapist about post-retreat plans.  We want to make the transition as smooth as possible so families are able to leave the retreat and immediately begin home visits without an extra return trip to CALO if possible.  In order for this to happen your therapist needs details (exact times of visits, medication expectations, off campus belongings needed, etc.)

When do I need to show up for the retreat and when will it end?

·         Please arrive at CALO on Thursday morning at 8:00am but no later than 8:10am.  Please head straight to the conference room for breakfast.  The retreat will end by 2:30-3:00PM on Friday.

My child is asking for me to bring his I-Pod, l-Pad, and/or (electronic).  What should I do?

·         Tell him you are looking forward to the retreat focusing on your relationship and you would rather not have distractions.  We strongly discourage any electronic equipment to be brought to the retreat for students to use. 

What if I get nervous, anxious or concerned about my child’s behavior during the retreat?

·         Stay in frequent communication with your therapist and coaches.  Feel free to ask for help or support at any time. 

How else should I prepare for the retreat?

·         Our first three retreats laid the foundation for this and future retreats in respect to creating safe, meaningful, and lasting memories. Be ready and open to learning, growing and connecting.

Dear parents and guardians,

I am pleased to confirm dates for our fall parent retreat.  The dates will be Thursday September 1^st - Friday September 2^nd.  It has taken longer than anticipated to reach terms with a facility but we are now ready to roll.  We hope all of you will begin making preparations to attend (please confirm and coordinate with your CALO therapist). Here is a quick list to help you get started:

·         What?  Fourth Semi-Annual CALO Parent Retreat

·         When? Thursday September 1^st – Friday September 2^nd (parents will want to travel no later than Wednesday August 31st ) .

·         Who? Parent(s) and guardian(s) are invited.  We are unable to accommodate grandparents, siblings, and so forth.  Students of attending parents and guardians will participate.

·         Where? A retreat location (first time at this location) at Lake of the Ozarks (we will have you meet us at CALO on Thursday morning for a breakfast and seminar and we will either transport you to the location or give you directions so you can drive yourself).

·         Cost? There will be no charge to parents to attend this retreat other than expenses accrued during travel.

·         Pack? This retreat will have a different feel to it.  I believe it will feel less like “camping.”  Families will have their own motel room. A future blog will have more details. 

We look forward to seeing you there!

Parents and guardians,

I wanted to take a quick minute and thank you for another fantastic parent retreat last week at Camp Sabra. As I have looked through your feedback it is clear most had a great time which is a credit to your openness and desire to make things go right. I was also proud of our students for putting forth the effort to have a connective experience with you. We sincerely appreciate each of you making the sacrifice to be in attendance. While we missed some of you, the percentage of parents/guardians attending has continued to climb. We hope to see you at future seminars, retreats and on campus visits. 

On that note, I wanted to inform you of the dates for our remaining 2011 summer and winter seminars and our fall parent retreat. Here is your quick snapshot:

·         Friday July 8th from 12:30-2pm will be our summer seminar

·         Thursday September 1st - Friday September 2nd are the tentative dates for our fall parent retreat

·         Wednesday November 23rd from 12:30-2pm will be our winter seminar

Seminars are in the conference room and are for all current and former parents/guardians.  We will feed you lunch while you enjoy learning and interacting with staff and other parents.

I may need another 6-8 weeks to solidify our fall parent retreat location but the targeted dates of Thursday September 1st - Friday September 2nd. 

Please stay tuned to the blog for more details.  Thank you!

Dear parents & guardians,

We are getting very excited about having you join us for our upcoming retreat in just a few weeks. Soon you will be packing and making trip preparations. To that end, here are a few answers to questions that might arise. If you have additional questions, please contact me directly at (866) 753-1365 or lkirk@caloteens.com.

·         Will you be providing bedding or towels?

o   CALO will arrange for students attending to have their sleeping bag, pillow, and towel.  However, parents will need to arrange for their own items.  Some of you may wish to bring sheets and blankets and some of you may prefer a simple sleeping bag.  One idea for those not wanting to bring bedding is to wait and buy a sleeping bag, pillow, or towel at a store after you land at the airport or here in town at Target or one of our Wal-marts.  Obviously, if everyone is waiting to come to the lake to buy these supplies I am not sure if the stores will have enough sleeping bags in stock.  

·         Do I need to bring any food or snacks?

o   You may bring your own snacks but CALO will be providing water, drinks and a variety of snacks.  Based on past retreats, it is doubtful you will go hungry.

·         How strenuous will this be?

o   We will try to be sensitive and understanding of any physical limitations parents may have.  Wearing comfortable clothing and good walking shoes is a must.  It would also be wise to rest up before the retreat as we do want to maximize our time together.

·         What will the weather be like?

o   Springtime in Missouri is both beautiful and unpredictable. Check the weather forecasts before the trip but plan on fluctuating temperatures both day and night and prepare for rain and wind.  Please also see the packing list from my previous post.

·         What are the costs for this?  Do I need to bring any spending money?

o   Our plan is for parent retreats to continue to be a part of tuition. This Spring retreat is no different as there are no additional costs to parents.  

o   Depending on future locations and costs, we may ask parents to pay a portion of the expenses.  However, we will do everything to create a variety of experiences on our retreats while trying to keep costs down.  So far we feel like we have done that. 

·         What are the cabins, duplexes and facilities like?

o   Some of our parents will be in cabins and some will be in small duplexes.  The cabins are large and have up to 14 or so beds but will likely be occupied by only one family so there is privacy.  Large bathhouses are located close to the cabins. The duplexes are smaller with two bedrooms in each unit.  We are planning on placing two families in each duplex (a family in each room).  The duplexes have a bathroom. The campus is beautiful, spacious, a bit spread out, right on the lake and is used seasonally as a youth summer camp.

·         What if I have an off campus or home visit right after the retreat?

o   Please be in close contact with your CALO therapist about such plans.  We want to make the transition as smooth as possible so families are able to leave the retreat and immediately begin home visits without an extra return trip to CALO if possible.  In order for this to happen your therapist needs details (exact times of visits, medication expectations, off campus belongings needed, etc.)

·         When do I need to show up and when will it end?

o   Please arrive at CALO on Thursday morning around 8:00am but no later than 8:15am.  Please head straight to the conference room for breakfast.  The retreat will end around 3PM on Friday.

·         My child is asking for me to bring his I-Pod, l-Pad, and/or I-Phone.  What should I do?

o   Tell him you are looking forward to the retreat focusing on your relationship and you would rather not have distractions.  We strongly discourage any electronic equipment to be brought to the retreat for students to use. 

·         What if I get nervous, anxious or concerned about my child’s behavior during the retreat?

o   Stay in frequent communication with your therapist and coaches.  Feel free to ask for help or support at any time. 

·         How else should I prepare for this?

o   I would hope that our two retreats last year laid the foundation for future retreats in respect to creating safe, meaningful, and lasting memories.  Be ready to learn, grow and connect. 

See you soon!

Recently a CALO student, Henry (not real name), departed CALO with his adopted canine Charger. The canine adoption details can be shared another time but one of the final steps in the adoption process is for a student to write an essay based on the title, “How I will transfer the interdependent relationship I share with my canine to my human relationships.” In short, we are asking the student to describe what we call "transferable attachment."

In about a month I will present at a professional conference about CALO’s unique “transferable attachment.”  For now, read Henry’s essay that was shared at his finalization ceremony so you can have a sneak peak at the amazing impact these golden retrievers have to help students learn about our model (Trust of Care, Trust of Control, Trust of Self, and Interdependence) and transferable attachment.

“Charger depends on me for lots of things. He counts on me to play with him. This is important so that he can get his energy out.  He needs me to potty him because he cannot open doors to go outside by himself.  Charger needs me to feed him.  I put his food in a bowl and make sure that he has clean water to drink.  After his surgery, Charger depended on me to take care of him and make sure he did not pull his stitches out.  Charger also depends on me to bathe him and keep him clean.  One of the biggest ways Charger depends on me is for me to train him so that he can be off leash and know when to be calm and when to have fun.  This is very important so that he can come to live with me at home and be socially acceptable.

I depend on Charger for things too.  I count on him to keep me calm when I don’t have the greatest feelings.  He stays calm with me rather than be all rowdy.  When I feel lonesome Charger is there to keep me company.  When I want to get energy out, Charger plays with me inside.  Usually I will throw the ball with him either in the milieu or in the pit.  Once I got full time [integration] with him, he started having really bad attachment problems.  At first he was way too dependent on me and every time I left the room he would bark so that I would have to come back.  Nowadays he doesn’t bark as much because he knows that I will come back later and take care of him.  These are some of the ways Charger and I depend on each other.

At home, I depend on my family to keep me safe.  The main way that I feel safe at night is when my parents lock up all the doors.  I know they are home if I need anything.  My family is learning to help me deal with not so good feelings by giving me some personal space.  This helps me to be able to calm down quicker and then talk about it.  I also depend on my mom for getting my laundry clean and for keeping me fed.  I could do it on my own but I am used to my mom doing it.  I like that better.  I depend on my dad to be able to hunt.  My dad has helped me do that by sometimes taking me and my brother to go shoot.  He also took the hunter safety class with me.  I was dependent on my dad to teach me lots of different things like learning how to drive and hunt.

My family is dependent on me too.   They depend on me to help do things around the house or do errands because I can drive now.  My mom depends on me to talk to her in the morning because my dad and brother are even grumpier.  According to my mom, I am the least grumpiest in the morning.  My family depends on me to not be so uptight.  The rest of them are very tense and I help them relax and be more laid back.  My animals depend on me here to pet them and let them in and outside.  When I was little I was dependent on my parents to potty train me just like I have to do with Charger.  Now I am depending on my parents to help me learn how to be a good adult. 

These are just some of the ways that Charger and I are interdependent and my family and I are interdependent with each other.  Charger is helping me learn how to be more helpful when others depend on me, and I am learning to be dependent on others too.”

Parents/Guardians,

As most of you learned last week, we are having our third semi-annual spring parent retreat April 28th-29th. As promised, I wanted to share a few more details to help you in your planning. This year will be different from previous retreats in location, theme and activities but we promise a meaningful and joyful experience to all who attend. Please remember that this is for all current and former CALO parents/guardians and students. In order to attend we need you to please RSVP your current or former CALO family therapist. The lodging, meals, and experiences/activites are provided to families at no additional cost.

Thursday April 28th – Friday April 29th 

Lake of the Ozarks

Theme:  Be a "peace" of the change

In preparation for the retreat we kindly ask all parents/guardians to read The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict by the Arbinger Institute. Some of our experiences during the retreat surround the principles contained in the book. You may buy The Anatomy of Peace at most bookstores or on-line: http://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Peace-Resolving-Heart-Conflict/dp/1576755843/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1298579738&sr=1-1

Thursday Highlights

Morning start (between 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM)

Parent Breakfast

Parent Seminar

Therapeutic Activities

Family Time

Parent Support Groups

Campfire Activity

Friday Highlights

Therapeutic Activities

Family Time

Slide Show

Ending around 2:30PM or so (may change slightly)

Lodging Information

Anyone with special needs or circumstances is encouraged to contact treating therapist

Private family lodging rooms or cabins

Parents/guardians will be responsible for student during retreat time (please discuss concerns with therapist prior to retreat)

All will have a bed and mattress 

Running water, restrooms, and showers will be in the unit or nearby 

Electrical outlets in the unit or nearby 

All guests must provide their own linens—sheets, pillows, blanket, sleeping bag, etc.

Clothing/Gear List

Hat/Beanie

Sweatshirt

Rain jacket

Shirts

Shorts

Pants

Socks/Shoes

Sandals

Underwear

Sunscreen

Insect repellant

Lip balm

Toiletries

Flashlight

Wet wipes

Hand sanitizer

Conservative and appropriate swimwear

Towels for bathing and water activities

Bedding--pillow, sleeping bag and/or sheets/blankets

Sleeping attire

Camera (confidentiality restrictions) - only pictures of you, your student, facilities and/or staff (no other pictures of students)

No pocket knives

No weapons, fireworks, matches, etc.

Parents/guardians are discouraged from bringing exessive or distracting items (i.e. I-Pods)