On July 13^th we will be hosting our Parent Seminar where we will thoroughly explore our Canine program and the process and impact of Neurofeedback.  In addition to the Parent Seminar, we will facilitate a Parent Support Group to provide opportunity for parents to share and connect with one another. 

This is a terrific opportunity to be a part of the CALO experience and become intimately familiar with the program and its specific interventions.  The seminar will delve into the process of Transferable Attachment and the healing power of the canines in conjunction with the process, impact, and power of Neurofeedback. 

Immediately following the Seminar, parents will gather to enjoy a time of processing, sharing, and connecting with other parents through the Parent Support Group.  This time has been proven to be most valuable for parents feeling understood and supported.

Schedule is as follows:

July 13, 2012

12:15-12:30pm      Parents gather lunch and meet in Conference Room

12:30-2:00pm       Seminar – Canine Program (Jeanna Osborn- Canine Supervisor) & Neurofeedback (Misti Puckett- Neurofeedback Administrator)

2:00-2:30pm         Break

2:30-3:45pm         Parent Support Group in Conference Room

Please notify your therapist of your attendance so we are able to plan accordingly.  We look forward to seeing you then.   

As all of therapists sat in the upper conference room early on Thursday morning, one thing kept going through my head, “We are about to do training with one of the key figures in Attachment Therapy, Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman, wow!”  It wasn’t that it was just “Another training”, but four personally focused hours within the intimate setting of just CALO’s clinical team.  This was a unique training that accessed here and now experiences and interventions that were happening within the current caseloads of our therapists.  I am sincerely grateful to Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman for his time, keen insight into changing lives, and ability to be passionate and committed to helping other professionals.

The training was a tremendous opportunity and highlighted that CALO’s model for treatment is truly relationship focused and is grounded in making long term and profound change in the lives of its students and families.  Dr. Art helped to illustrate that we (CALO) are providing treatment that has been established as an effective, evidenced based therapeutic approach that is proven to create long term change in the lives of families struggling with the impact of trauma and attachment difficulties. 

As the training progressed, I could see the faces of the therapist lighting up as they internalized precious “Nuggets” of information that helped to conceptualize what we do with succinct language.  One of the most power concepts outlining our model of treatment was the progression of four key concepts; Alliance, Exploration, Integration, and Healing.  Being able to have Dr. Art carefully articulate these words was immensely helpful in understanding how we must always remember that relationship (Alliance) is the foundation of change.  With this foundation comes the ability explore experiences and emotions from the past which are affecting the student in the present.  With exploration comes the ability (due to the safety of the relationship/alliance) to begin to integrate those experiences and emotions into the students emotional and physical “Narrative”.  This process is the way in which healing occurs and the student then can begin to work towards constructing a coherent narrative of their life and begin to feel safer trusting others and experiencing emotional intimacy. 

I am now a few days removed from this training an am excited to use these terms to create experiences and education for parents in which families begin to heal and grow.  I want to be able to express to those reading this that these terms and concepts are foundational to our treatment and additional questions and thoughts should be directed to your primary therapist to openly explore and experience. 

The upcoming CALO Parent Retreat (May 10^th-11^th) is an exciting time for parents/guardians to immerse themselves in connective opportunities.  One of the primary opportunities that the Parent Retreat presents is the chance to be a “Coach” to your student while receiving the support of the CALO staff.  Being a “Coach” to the student means showing consistent care while modeling appropriate boundaries, setting limits, being playful, becoming vulnerable, maintaining physical and emotional safety, expressing empathy, and experiencing joy.  Taking on this “Coaching” role is a huge responsibility, but one that is necessary to establish safety and communicate unconditional care for the student. 

Students require this level of care because they have often tried so hard to compromise the unconditionally caring/safe relationship of the parents/guardian due to their early trauma associated with various forms of abandonment, abuse, neglect, developmental trauma, etc.  Fully trusting a safe parental figure is often the hardest and scariest opportunity for these students to allow themselves to enjoy.  Our parents are all too familiar with the tireless efforts they have put in to evidencing unconditional love, trust, and connection, while getting all forms of resistance, resentment, and opposition pushed back onto them.  That is why the Parent Retreat is a perfect opportunity to practice implementing this type of relationship while receiving the support and assistance from staff, therapists, and Leadership team in order to keep all parties safe. 

 The Coaching role is very similar to the parent role, but is just different in that the level of physical intimacy (safe touch) and verbal intimacy (verbal expression of love) is more intense with the parent role.  Otherwise, the student is experiencing consistency with “Doing what is best” for them, not necessarily what they “Want”, being able to express empathy for emotions that the student may be feeling (rejection, shame, happiness, sadness, loneliness, etc.),  de-escalating situations through assisting in emotional and physical regulation (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy), setting consistent boundaries/limits related to emotional and physical safety, and being able to maintain “Closeness” if that is what the student requires.

In addition to the Parental/Coaching role, there is opportunity to develop relationships with other parents/guardians, spend quality time with primary therapist, get to know staff, and participate in numerous fun and meaningful activities.  The Parent Retreat is rapidly approaching and is designed for all families who are a part of CALO.  Take the opportunity to experience real growth and connection this spring. 

One of the most impactful and effective aspects of treatment is for the program and the parents/guardians to be on the “Same page” and standing together as a “United Front”. Kids often come into treatment being masters at splitting authority figures (parents, teachers, etc.) and playing one against the other.  This has a tremendously frustrating impact on those authority figures because we don’t want to send our kids conflicting messages and we may often disagree with someone else’s approach or decision.  The question then becomes, “What is the impact of this splitting/triangulation on the child?” The answer is quite simply that it is unsafe. When the child learns that they can learn to split those authority figures, then they learn that boundaries can now be blurred and be manipulated in ways that are no longer constant, stable, reliable, and consistent.

As the child practices the art of splitting/triangulating, they reinforce that control is more comfortable than trust.  The interesting part of “Control” is that it is based in fear and that children of abuse, neglect, and trauma learn to preserve themselves (survival) through “Control”.  This means that control is a response to a core experience of survival and becomes “Safer” in their mind than the “Unsafe” rejection experienced with trust.

This response or drive for control becomes most evident in the splitting or triangulation of parents/guardians and the treatment program.  The child wants to maintain the “Safety” of control and getting parents/guardians to be in conflict with the treatment center becomes an effective tool for them to avoid the fear associated with addressing painful issues, being authentically cared about, experiencing vulnerability, and creating intimacy.  All of these different experiences are what creates long lasting change and avoiding them becomes possible when program and parents are disconnected. 

It is always amazingly effective when parents/guardians are a “United Front” and present to the student as one, sharing the same intention, purpose, and commitment to the child.  This is to say that disagreements and/or differing opinions get shared and discussed away from the child and that decisions can then be made that are consistent, dependable, and reliable in front of the child.  Through this “United Front”, the child then becomes to trust that the program and parents are making decisions based upon what is best for the child physically and emotionally.  Then child then experiences “Safe Relationships” that are based on care and not control.  This is when transformation begins to take root and the child can learn to trust those authority figures in their lives and begin to share the joy that comes through trust and intimacy. 

This last Monday was an experience that I will not soon forget.  As planned, the preparations for the All Day Team Group were finalized and the students were prepared to spend the next eight hours with their team and therapists.  The students had worked with their therapist to plan on a day that would focus on engaging in service and developing team building.  As this day was upon us, I felt excitement to spend the next hours with the Falcons (boys) serving the less fortunate by volunteering at a local store which provided food and clothing to those in need. 

I vividly recall gathering the Falcons together to discuss the purpose of service and the principle of giving as a means to develop empathy, compassion, and experience joy and connection.  The boys were saying the right words, but just weren’t showing the enthusiasm that I had hoped.  We loaded the van and continued to talk about the opportunity to evidence trust and the need for appropriate behaviors.  Once we arrived at the store (Hope House), the boy’s apprehension about what we would be doing became increasingly noticeable and apparent.  We walked through the doors and were pleasantly greeted by volunteers so happy to see us and appreciate for our desire to help.  We were swiftly assigned to tasks and the boys were split up with staff in smaller groups around the different sections of the store.  Some were organizing furniture, electronics, and hardware, where others were emptying trash, organizing clothes, and assisting with the food pantry. 

I, along with two boys, where assigned to the food pantry where we meet Don who was a retired gentleman who volunteered multiple days of the week.  He took us in the back and gave us chairs where he explained how we would work with him and sort through bags that people dropped off to be used.  As we worked together, Don asked the boys many questions and made them feel appreciated.  He talked with us about his reasons for volunteering and how giving to others made him feel joyful.  Don joked around and introduced us to many of the other volunteers who similarly expressed how meaning and purpose came from giving without expectation of return.  The two responded with a new found sense of awareness that serving others was in fact rewarding and felt good.

With new found smiles on their faces and a rejuvenated energy, the boys and I met with the rest of the group and formed an assembly line to put together bags with breakfast items that the store would pass out to those in need.  It was amazing to watch our entire group work with the volunteers and passionately put cereal, pancake mix, granola bars, syrup, etc, into bags and show real excitement and determination.  As we finished assembling the bags, the regular volunteers repeatedly thanked us and stated how enjoyable the boys were and how helpful a group we had been.  In an extremely rewarding moment for me, the boys reciprocated and expressed how much the learned from the experience and were grateful for the opportunity to give to others. 

The ride home was filled with enjoyable laughter and reflection of how we all wanted to go back and feel positive about ourselves and how service had changed us. It was a terrific day that I won’t forget because I know that serving others produced authentic feelings of gratitude, empathy, and compassion in the students (staff and therapists as well). 

Specializing in the fields of Attachment, trauma, and emotional regulation means that CALO must be a significant part of the ever advancing treatment, theory, research, and practice of therapy.  Due to our commitment to effective treatment of adolescence and families struggling with these specific issues, we have remained committed to our involvement in the ATTACH organization (attach.org) and their annual conference.  This year’s conference was especially meaningful for CALO because our CEO, Dr. Ken Huey, participated in developing and producing the annual conference as one of the elected members of the ATTACH board.  In addition, CALO was able to be the Platinum sponsor of the conference as well as Dr. Huey being one of the conference presenters. 

One exciting aspect for CALO is that we are able to have our entire clinical team be a significant part of the conference.  This year we were able to travel to Omaha, NE and engage in cutting edge treatment of attachment, trauma, and emotion regulation by partaking in training by such renowned researchers, clinicians, and practitioners as Dr. Ed Tronik, Dr. Laurie Ann Pearlman, Dr. John Briere, and Dr. Arthur Becker-Wiedman.  This training is an invaluable time for our clinicians to continue the process of growth and solidify being an expert clinician in the specialty of attachment and trauma.  It is always a tremendous opportunity for our team to not only learn and grow, but consult with other clinicians, meet parents, represent CALO, and develop relationships with each other. 

This year’s conference was incredibly impactful and educational, but had a special place in the heart of CALO because the entire clinical team was able to be a present for Dr. Huey’s presentation on Transferable Attachment.  This presentation was an interactive experience with actual students from CALO (current and former) who were able to have the courage to become vulnerable about their journey in treatment and the personal transformation they have undergone.  The students were able to show how their relationship with the Golden Retriever canines had allowed them to transfer their ability to attach to their parents/guardians.  It was simply amazing to experience how their involvement in the canine program had contributed so significantly to creating self-worth, empathy, connection, healing, and hope for the student and their families. 

CALO’s commitment to treatment excellence means that we will continue to remain a significant part of the Attachment and trauma world and always continue to be learning, training, and advancing our skills as clinicians as well as facilitating connection and healing with families. 

As time as passed since the New Parent Orientation and the Parent Retreat (April 27^th-, I can’t help but reflect on the tremendous opportunities for learning, activities and relationships that were had.  From the initial meeting of the New Parents Orientation where we covered the basics of treatment expectations and the therapeutic model to the informative presentation of The Anatomy of Peace by Dr. Ken Huey, the time was invaluable to connect with other parents, meet the staff and therapists, and enjoy some good meals.

I can’t help but still think of the humorous anecdotes and stories Ken relayed in his message that communicated that we all are human with our personal flaws but yet desire relationship and often climb “Into the box” with others.  It was empowering to consider that we have the ability to rise above our own frustrations and more effectively connect with others by having a “Heart of Peace” and engaging them as people with feelings rather than objects.  This became increasingly evident as the Parent Retreat progressed and parents as well as students talked openly with one another about getting stuck “In the Box” and needing to recognize that “If I am mad, I am wrong.”  I was actually able to witness a parent and child engage in repair with regard to many past experiences of being mad and losing their “Heart of Peace”.

One of the most meaningful experiences was the opportunity to participate in the creation of the Mosaic pictures where the families worked together to smash tiles and creatively make a picture which represented “Peace” in their family.  I was not disappointed by the creativity and thought which went into the project.  Each family created an amazing picture using just the tiles which represented things which were important to their family (crosses, hearts, birds, sunsets, people, etc.).  The project concluded the following day with the activity of grouting the picture and then gathering together where each family shared what the picture represented to them, very powerful and memorable.

The retreat was the perfect opportunity to enjoy simply sitting down to a meal with parents and students with whom I normally don’t have a lot of interaction and be able to laugh, talk, and connect.  I always enjoy the time to take a walk with a family, sit by the fire, listen to them during the Parent Support Group, and play fun games with.  The retreat is that time to experience so many different aspects of relationships that prove to me so incredibly valuable.  This seems to be reinforced by the student who becomes resistant to connect with their parents and attempts to ignore them throughout the retreat, yet it turns out to be extremely meaningful for the parents in connecting with other parents, students, staff, and themselves.

As the retreat comes to a close I always am filled with a deep sense of gratitude for the families and the opportunity we have had to grow, learn, and share with each other. Even as I sit in my office a few weeks later, I can’t help but reflect on the relationships I made and the experience we shared connecting with one another.  Thank you to all the families who attended!

Families’ being a part of CALO is an essential ingredient in the experience of treatment.  The most frequent means of family involvement is their time spent on campus during family visitations.  These visitations are opportunities for parents/guardians to engage with their child while practicing and maintaining therapeutically productive interactions.  A significant aspect of treatment for families is that CALO continues to be a resource and environment which emotional and behavioral expectations are maintained.  This is important for parents/guardians to feel empowered and supported while implementing the relational experiences acquired during family therapy.  The expectation is for families and students to rely on CALO as a safe foundation from which trust, coaching, assistance, and consistency exist.  

Family visitations are encouraged as frequently as beneficial for the student and the family.  Traditional visitations usually occur over one week day and last over a weekend (i.e. Friday-Sunday) where the therapist provides coaching and expectations for time off campus.  Of course, families are welcome to coordinate visits with the therapist for any other time during the week.  The visits consist of families arriving and departing according to CALO visitation hours (see below *) and require that all guests sign in and out.  Visitations are expected to be a time when families interact with the CALO community and enjoy all aspects of treatment (therapy, meals, games, canines, loft time, recreation therapy, academics, etc.). 

The expectation is that parents/guardians come prepared to interact with their student as a coach and involve themselves in as many activities and scheduled events as possible.  This is consistent with the relationship model and provides opportunity for connection, trust building, limit setting, follow through, and healthy vulnerability.  The exciting factor is that coaches will come along side of parents/guardians to assist and guide in maintaining safety and productive growth within the relationship.  This means that families should wear appropriate clothing and shoes for participating in the active and engaged setting of the milieu. 

Much like the home environment, weekdays are more structured with academics, therapy sessions, and scheduled activities, whereas, weekends are usually filled with more personal, spiritual, loft, and relaxation time. This means that students and their parents/guardians will experience adjustments in schedule, rhythms, and activities similar to a traditional home environment while maintaining focus on boundaries, safety, and emotional/physical regulation. 

One of the most meaningful and exciting times for families to experience visits are during holidays and parent retreats.  Though the expectations are the same (being a coach, setting boundaries, experiencing healthy intimacy, and regulating safety), holiday’s and parent retreats are a time to connect with other parents, guardians, staff, therapists, and the leadership of CALO.  These events are centered on family experiences and the opportunity to participate in sit down meals, games, parent support groups, seminars, recreational activities, and many other meaningful interactions.  Parents have often reflected at how difficult the holidays are when their child is in treatment and yet when they have experienced them with CALO, they have become some of the most meaningful, enjoyable, and unforgettable holiday’s.

Family visitations are a significant part of the treatment process and the safe, dependable, and consistent environment which CALO maintains is one of the cornerstones of the family’s growth.  We need students and parents/guardians to feel safe and experience CALO as a resource of acceptance and reliability from which they can connect, create vulnerability, experience joy, and practice safe relationships. 

      *Visitation hours:

·        Monday- Saturday 9:30am-6:30pm

·        Sunday- 11am-6pm

*Parent Retreat:

·        Spring Retreat- April 28^th & 29^th

·        Fall – To be announced

*Parent Seminars

·        New Parent Orientation- April 27, 2011

·        Regular Seminar Schedule

o   Spring- May

o   Summer- September

o   Fall- November

o   Winter- February

Families’ being a part of CALO is an essential ingredient in the experience of treatment.  The most frequent means of family involvement is their time spent on campus during family visitations.  These visitations are opportunities for parents/guardians to engage with their child while practicing and maintaining therapeutically productive interactions.  A significant aspect of treatment for families is that CALO continues to be a resource and environment which emotional and behavioral expectations are maintained.  This is important for parents/guardians to feel empowered and supported while implementing the relational experiences acquired during family therapy.  The expectation is for families and students to rely on CALO as a safe foundation from which trust, coaching, assistance, and consistency exist.  

Family visitations are encouraged as frequently as beneficial for the student and the family.  Traditional visitations usually occur over one week day and last over a weekend (i.e. Friday-Sunday) where the therapist provides coaching and expectations for time off campus.  Of course, families are welcome to coordinate visits with the therapist for any other time during the week.  The visits consist of families arriving and departing according to CALO visitation hours (see below *) and require that all guests sign in and out.  Visitations are expected to be a time when families interact with the CALO community and enjoy all aspects of treatment (therapy, meals, games, canines, loft time, recreation therapy, academics, etc.). 

The expectation is that parents/guardians come prepared to interact with their student as a coach and involve themselves in as many activities and scheduled events as possible.  This is consistent with the relationship model and provides opportunity for connection, trust building, limit setting, follow through, and healthy vulnerability.  The exciting factor is that coaches will come along side of parents/guardians to assist and guide in maintaining safety and productive growth within the relationship.  This means that families should wear appropriate clothing and shoes for participating in the active and engaged setting of the milieu. 

Much like the home environment, weekdays are more structured with academics, therapy sessions, and scheduled activities, whereas, weekends are usually filled with more personal, spiritual, loft, and relaxation time. This means that students and their parents/guardians will experience adjustments in schedule, rhythms, and activities similar to a traditional home environment while maintaining focus on boundaries, safety, and emotional/physical regulation. 

One of the most meaningful and exciting times for families to experience visits are during holidays and parent retreats.  Though the expectations are the same (being a coach, setting boundaries, experiencing healthy intimacy, and regulating safety), holiday’s and parent retreats are a time to connect with other parents, guardians, staff, therapists, and the leadership of CALO.  These events are centered on family experiences and the opportunity to participate in sit down meals, games, parent support groups, seminars, recreational activities, and many other meaningful interactions.  Parents have often reflected at how difficult the holidays are when their child is in treatment and yet when they have experienced them with CALO, they have become some of the most meaningful, enjoyable, and unforgettable holiday’s.

Family visitations are a significant part of the treatment process and the safe, dependable, and consistent environment which CALO maintains is one of the cornerstones of the family’s growth.  We need students and parents/guardians to feel safe and experience CALO as a resource of acceptance and reliability from which they can connect, create vulnerability, experience joy, and practice safe relationships.    

*Visitation hours:

·        Monday- Saturday 9:30am-6:30pm

·        Sunday- 11am-6pm

*Parent Retreat:

·        Spring Retreat- April 28^th & 29^th

·        Fall – To be announced

*Parent Seminars

·        New Parent Orientation- April 27, 2011

·        Regular Seminar Schedule

o   Spring- May

o   Summer- September

o   Fall- November

o   Winter- February

As a therapist, there is always some eagerness, anxiousness, and curiosity when beginning a new relationship with an enrolling family.  One can’t help but wonder, “What will they be like, what has their experience really created for them, and how much resentment, sadness, guilt, and hurt do they feel?”  Though the documents have been read and the case reviewed many times, the thoughts and feelings of what the family is really like comes rushing forward.  The experience has been that the cliché of not judging a book by its cover is profoundly true.

This experience creates an immediate sense of empathy for the student and the family.  Instantly, the thought of the emotional and physical difficulties incurred by the entire family becomes paramount and the passion to connect with them creates a sense of excitement.  The first meeting gives way to the experience of the past and the culmination of emotions leading up to and surrounding where they are in that moment.  That moment becomes filled with an expression of the pain, strife, difficulty, dysfunction, turmoil, worry, and heartache which has consumed so much of their lives and existence.  Being the therapist, especially in those moments, is tremendously humbling and thus rewarding for the pure fact that individuals are becoming vulnerable and taking the opportunity to share and open up emotionally someone who will authentically listen.

As the relationship develops, the new families receive input and coaching on how to best connect with their student as well as each other.  These new families usually listen intently to the direction of the therapist and try to implement new techniques of communication to evoke some genuine emotional change.  Quickly, familiarity and trust begin to develop and relational investment increases at an incredible rate.  Like all healthy relationships, the “New” family becomes a “Known” family and intense guidance, accountability, and work begin to take hold.

Starting with new families is an inevitable experience which always provides opportunity for new relationships.  This is an exciting time and requires an tremendous amount of sensitivity and understanding for what the family has gone through as well as a desire to authentically attune with their hurt, hopes, and goals.