5^th Semi-Annual Spring CALO Parent Retreat

Thursday May 10^th - Friday May 11^th   

Theme: “Living In the Growth Zone”

Parents/Guardians,

As most of you know we are closing in on our fifth semi-annual parent retreat Thursday May 10^th - Friday May 11^th.  As is the case with every retreat, there are lots of questions so this blog post is set to answer those and help you prepare to make this retreat a success. We receive consistent feedback that nearly all parents/guardians (hereafter referred to as parents) continue to enjoy our retreats a great deal.

The retreat is for all current and former CALO parents and students. The only exceptions are those students who may be unsafe to attend (see your CALO therapist). In order to attend we need you to please RSVP to your current or former CALO therapist by Friday April 13^th. We need to provide final projections to the retreat hosts by this date so they can plan for spacing and food. Please note that all participating parents will be responsible for the supervision and welfare of their CALO student during the retreat time. This includes overnight (please discuss concerns with therapist prior to retreat).

Thursday Highlights

Parent Breakfast (8:00 AM) in CALO conference room

Parent Seminar

Travel to retreat location

Therapeutic Activities

Parent Support Groups

Campfire Activity

Friday Highlights

Therapeutic Activities

Family Time

Slide Show

Ending around 2:30PM or so (may change slightly)

Clothing/Gear List

Hat

Rain/wind jacket

Shirts

Shorts/pants

Socks/Shoes

Sandals

Underwear

Sunscreen

Insect repellant

Lip balm

Toiletries (including soap and shampoo)

Flashlight

Conservative and appropriate swimwear

Towels for bathing and water activities

Sleeping attire

Camera (confidentiality restrictions) - only pictures of you, your student, facilities and/or staff (no other pictures of students)

No pocket knives, weapons, fireworks, matches, or other dangerous items

Parents are strongly discouraged from bringing excessive or distracting items (i.e. I-Pods, cell phones, etc.)

Q&A

Will CALO and/or the retreat location be providing bedding, pillows and/or towels for this retreat?

·         CALO will arrange for students attending to have their sleeping bag, pillow, and towel. Parents, however, will want to bring 1) a sleeping bag or blankets, 2) a pillow and 3) bathing towel.  *Hint:  Some parents flying to the retreat may want to consider buying a less expensive sleeping bag or blankets in the arrival city instead of paying for this as extra luggage. 

Will I be sleeping on a bed with a mattress or are we camping?

·         All students and parents will sleep on a bed with a mattress.

What are the sleeping arrangements like?

·         This retreat will feature family lodging.  Each family will either have a private, large cabin with bunk-beds or sleep in a duplex unit with traditional beds and mattresses (students sleeping on the floor).  Families in duplexes will share the duplex space with another family or with CALO staff.  Each duplex has one bathroom. The cabins utilize a centralized large bathhouse with many private showers, sinks and restrooms. 

What if I get hungry?

·         You may bring your own snacks but CALO will be providing water/drinks and a variety of snacks. CALO will also provide three meals on Thursday and two meals on Friday. We do not receive feedback that anyone goes hungry on retreats.

How strenuous will this be?

·         We try to be sensitive and understanding of any physical limitations parents may have. Wearing comfortable clothing and good walking shoes is a must (there will be a fair amount of walking). It would also be wise to rest up before the retreat as we do want to maximize our time together. Parents with special needs or circumstances should make these clearly known to the CALO therapist.

What will the weather be like?

·         We experienced a mild winter here in mid Missouri.  Because the retreat is in May, check the weather forecasts before the trip. Plan on fluctuating temperatures from the 80’s during the day to 50’s during late evening-morning hours. It would also be wise to anticipate rain and wind.

What are the costs for this?  Do I need to bring any spending money?

·         Our plan is for parent retreats to continue to be a part of tuition. This retreat is no different as there are no additional costs to parents. Depending on future locations and costs, we may ask parents to pay a portion of the expenses. However, we will do everything possible to create a variety of experiences during our retreats while trying to keep costs down. So far we feel like we have done that. 

What if I have an off campus or home visit right after the retreat?

·         Please be in close contact with your CALO therapist about post-retreat plans.  We want to make the transition as smooth as possible so families are able to leave the retreat and immediately begin off-campus visits without an extra return trip to CALO if possible.  In order for this to happen your therapist needs details (exact times of visits, medication expectations, off campus belongings needed, etc.)

When do I need to show up for the retreat and when will it end?

·         Please arrive at CALO on Thursday morning around 8:00am but no later than 8:10am.  Please head straight to the conference room for breakfast.  The retreat will end by 2:30 or 3:00PM on Friday.

My child is asking for me to bring his I-Pod, l-Pad, and/or other electronic.  What should I do?

·         Tell him you are looking forward to the retreat focusing on your relationship and you would rather not have distractions.  We strongly discourage parents from bringing any electronic equipment to the retreat for students to use. 

What if I get nervous, anxious or concerned about my child’s behavior and/or safety during the retreat?

·         Stay in frequent communication with your therapist and coaches.  Feel free to ask for help or support at any time. 

How else should I prepare for the retreat?

·         We are entering the third year of CALO retreats.  Previous retreats have evidenced this time to be very effective in creating safe, meaningful, and lasting memories with your CALO students, CALO staff and other CALO families in attendance. Please be prepared to learn, grow, and connect.

We look forward to seeing you in May!

I received this in an email from Annelieke, the mother of two former CALO students. I appreciated her sending this and letting me post it for you. Let me know if what she says resonates with any of you. Here is what she wrote:

How to Get Through

As parents with two children who have graduated from CALO, somehow more and more families in my geographic area who also struggle with attachment issues, find us.

Several times each month I find myself in conversation with parents so much like us, with all of the bewilderment, sadness, guilt, fatigue, and stress-related issues we had.
Helpful people often say to us parents “You have to take care of yourself,” not realizing that this feels in fact, often just impossible. We don’t even WANT to take care of ourselves, because the sense of hopelessness and fear for our children and our families is so paramount. The relief we felt when our daughters did arrive at CALO and we were back home, knowing they were safe, and knowing we could take a deep breath, was also the time we felt both how little we had been doing to sustain our own bodies and souls, but also what we HAD in fact been doing and not realizing it.

One way I did it was to listen over and over again to my beloved heroic soundtracks. The Rambo soundtracks, cuts from Black Hawk Down, Blood Diamond, Transformers, these big orchestral homages to individual and group heroism were the right soundtrack to my life at the time. My girls were doing something heroic, and my husband and I were too. He worked in his wood shop after work, where the noise from saws and fans and planers made his personal soundtrack. Sometimes we went out, but rarely. I tried to catch up on things I had let go for far too long. I enjoyed the feeling of getting up with less dread. I talked with my other children often. I tried to be aware of the ways in which I did, in fact, take care of myself, and had, even when the girls were home before CALO, but had not realized it then. A check-in with a friend every couple of days. Visiting my father and watching British comedy. Therapy.

My point is only this; as CALO parents, we share certain quality of life issues. Our children get through, and we do too. But it’s much better when we understand how, and there are as many ways of taking care of ourselves as there are CALO parents, and it helps to know how we are doing that. Sometimes it’s not the obvious, like a mani/pedi or a great meal out. The opportunity to reflect a little bit once our children are safe at CALO presents a chance to be more mindful of our own care and nurturing, how we do that for ourselves and how others help. Just like our wonderful children, we need all the caring we can find. And when that social call comes around on Sunday, and the family session later in the week, we can bring all of the honesty, concentration and love we have to those times.

The following email came to us at CALO just a few days ago. I asked the writer if I could change her daughter's name and post it on our blog. She was kind enough to let me share it. Here you go:

I just returned home from my first CALO parent retreat and that experience just confirmed for me that Trisha is in great hands! I want to thank you for all the work that it must have taken to pull off this retreat. For Trisha and I it felt like we were on a long overdue family vacation. It was wonderful to have two days to just enjoy each other’s company while being offered many fun and meaningful activities in which to take part. In talking with other parents, I know that some of the families struggled with having so much “together” time, but I was totally impressed with the fact that if parents hadn’t shared their struggles with me, I would not have been aware that there were families who were having a tough go of it. The passing of the students from family to staff and back again happened in such a way that it went unnoticed by other participants at the retreat. That could not have been easy. This retreat gave Trisha and I a lot of time to just talk and play together. Since we were not rushed, some of the talk was just silly family stuff, but I was very encouraged to see that we could talk openly about the difficult issues too. I think we are both more aware of choices that we make that can increase or decrease the peace between us. Our mosaic has already found a place on the living room wall so that I will have a constant reminder of the fun and learning that Trisha and I shared during this retreat. The fun and the “work” flowed so seamlessly that I think we almost forgot that work was happening. Thank you for gifting us with this special time together.

I also wanted to take a moment to mention that I continue to be impressed by the caliber of the staff and program at CALO. As you know, Trisha came to CALO from another facility that really failed her. I arrived at CALO knowing that we had to try somewhere different, but not believing that we would really receive something different. Something that might actually help her. After being at CALO for 5 months, I no longer wonder if Trisha is getting quality care and therapy. I am confident that she is in the hands of caring and well trained individuals who work hard to give her the best chance possible for a better future. Christy is absolutely unflappable and that has been wonderful for me since that was not the case with Trisha’s therapist at the other facility. Christy’s ability to have fun with our kids while making them do some tremendously hard work on themselves has been inspiring. I know that she has a full plate with many students and families, but I never feel like she does not have time to answer my questions and speak honestly with me about Trisha’s progress or lack of progress. The frontline staff have been equally impressive. Many of them go out of their way on each of my visits to reintroduce themselves to me. For someone who is name challenged, this has been most helpful and appreciated by me. Since Trisha is just now beginning to take off-campus visits, I have been able to spend many days with her at CALO. This has allowed me many opportunities to observe the frontline staff as they interact with the students on a daily basis. These frontline staff have chosen an incredibly difficult job where I am sure they receive much more abuse from the students than appreciations. Please pass along my sincere appreciations to them. Much as I love my daughter I remember the struggles we had at home when it was one parent and one child. The frontline staff have all stepped up to the plate to take on many troubled kids all at the same time.  How difficult is that?! In all my visits to CALO, I have never seen a staff member just “lose it” with a student. I have seen frustration and I have heard frank talk, but the level of genuine care and patience they have shown toward even the most difficult students just astounds me. In March I was able to see again the quality of staff there at CALO when Trisha’s grandmother passed away. Christy and her team of caring frontline staff were a huge support to Trisha as she tried to process all the feelings and emotions that were brought to the surface during this time. It was very hard for Trisha and I to be so far apart as the family grieved, but I was so impressed with the extra care and support that was directed to Trisha over these weeks. My spark of hope for the quality of Trisha’s future had diminished to a very small point of light while she continued to slide in the wrong direction during her four months at the other facility. Over the past few months, under the nurture and care of CALO,  I have seen that spark begin to grow once again. What a gift that has been for me! I know this journey has just begun, but it is such a relief to be able to believe that it may lead Trisha and I to a loving, successful, relationship filled future!

I want Trisha home with me more than anything, but until she is more able to deal with the stresses and emotions of life I know that at CALO she is in a caring, healthy environment where she actually is beginning to learn, mature and grow. Thank you for taking our kids at their worst and caring for them in spite of themselves. Thank you for also making me feel like I am a valued part of Trisha’s team. That too was not my experience at Trisha’s previous placement. It is incredibly difficult for me to leave Trisha in the care of others because my job as a parent is not yet finished. I love her and I miss her every day. That said, thank you for helping me to release her into your care for a time. I hope that all of the CALO staff feel good about the work that they do because it is a thankless and demanding job, but from what I have been able to observe over this past 5 months, they are all good at what they do and as a team, you all do an incredible service to our kids and their families.

A few weeks ago I had a former parent offer to write a blog post for us. This parent had two children at CALO and feels strongly about what we do. I accepted and wanted to post what she wrote without edit. Here it is:

A little more than two years ago, we were told to consider residential treatment for our older daughter, third of our four children. First we thought "how can it be right to send an adopted child away”, and then we thought “maybe we’ll all feel a little better for a while.” An on-line search found us CALO and we were given phone numbers for CALO alumni families so that we could ask about the school. My family owes these  families great thanks. It was the first time in so long that we  could see there was real hope, that these people to whom we were speaking, in Arizona, in Alaska, in California, did not think we were terrible parents when we spoke of the chaos at home, our inability to help our child, our sadness about all of it, and our shame, because we did feel that. What we heard on these calls was that there was hope for our daughter, that they could help her at CALO, and that there was hope for our family, and I still remember what that felt like. These parents shared about their CALO experience  with generosity and honesty.

Now, two years later, and with two teens having graduated from CALO, Peter and I have hope too, like those parents before us. Our daughters are  works in progress, with the strength, the power, the love, the self awareness and the healing and acceptance that they found here. Sometimes they slide back into old ways of feeling and being, and that will  probably continue. We’ve been told that the nature of the seeds that are sown at CALO is that for some children, they sprout soon and for others, it can take more time.That said, most of the movement in our daughters’ lives now is forward, toward healthy connections with other people,  and the futures of their choice. Those paths are not what we, their parents envisioned  any more; each child’s way has its own integrity and we have to learn to go with that instead of old expectations.

What is also true is that my husband and I are likewise works in progress, and we are different now from the people who first showed up here with our child in June of 2009. We have more backbone than we did before. We know the only people we can fix is ourselves. We know our daughters will make it, and it’s ok not to know what that looks like right now.   We learned to look underneath behavior to understand it better,  not to make provocative behavior about us all the time, and while we still forget sometimes and slide back into old ways as well, we do better than before. We learned about our part in what happened before CALO, and we did have one. So even though as parents we were not in residence, we considered ourselves and our family in  treatment along with our girls. They would be different when they came home; we had to be different too.  What happened along the way is that we saw that our daughters were our teachers, with CALO acting as interpeter, guide, coach, and wise friend. CALO is a container that holds a lot of pain and great healing, and not just for the children. It’s there for parents too. 

I have a friend who works with me on an advocacy council. The council is one looking for ways to improve treatment for traumatized children. My friend, Julie, is an attorney and mother of two adopted children. One of the children, a girl named Angie, has a history of abuse prior to placement in Julie's home. Julie and her husband have struggled to help Angie and have suffered setbacks at times. She had a setback just recently and wrote a powerful email describing her sorrow. With her permission I am reprinting it here with names changed. It serves as a reminder of the difficulty some of us face when parenting traumatized children. It is personal and poignant and it makes me want to do a better job creating a healing environment for these kids. Here is Julie's experience in her own words:

My life was kind of keeping even keel until Friday.  Angie disclosed in therapy that a boy at school had molested her.  It fit with what we were seeing.  She was pooping in her underwear and urinating in her room.  She does that to keep safe.  I could not figure out what had triggered it.  When we went into therapy, she drew a really awful picture of herself filled with trash – for lack of a better word.  She was very reluctant to disclose, but, when she finally did, there was visible relief.

After discussing it with the therapist, we both called the principal to let him know.  I was very clear that I know that Angie has more sexual knowledge than the other kids and that she does lie (quite often) so I didn’t know if the boy she named had really done it or it was someone else, but I knew something had happened to her because of her behavior. 

Anyway, in the end, when I went to get the kids from school, I saw the other mom in the hallway crying.  The principal had interviewed her son and said that Angie had actually grabbed his hand and tried to put it down her pants.  He said he walked away.

For whatever reason, my heart absolutely broke when I saw the other mom crying.  Absolutely.  I know we have issues – we have more than our share of issues – but when I saw the other mom cry, I realized our issues had spread – for the first time – to another family.   It crushed my spirit.  I don’t know why I reacted the way I did.  I knew on some level that this would happen someday, but it made me so sad to see the pain in her eyes.

I tend to believe the other child.  Angie’s story was not very consistent.  I do think something happened, but, given the two children’s histories, it is likely my child who instigated.  And, if he wasn’t the one who touched her, there could very likely be others who did.  Just her soiling behavior signifies either a traumatic memory or an event.

I have asked the school – for years – to not send her alone with other students when she goes to the restroom or to special ed.  No one listened.  Friday, the principal told me that this had “opened some eyes” for the teachers.  I was devastated.  I didn’t want to open any eyes.  I didn’t want any of it to happen.

Today, I feel like throwing up.  I am not even sure why.  Like I said, I knew it was coming in some form in some way.  I have seen her do similar things at home.  But, doing those things at school feels like a new level, like we are spreading the chaos.

I am sad for the pain Angie must feel to reenact or solicit or whatever she did.  I am sad that I will probably never know the real truth.  I am so sad that my little girl has these issues that taint her ability to make friends and feel like she is one of the kids.  I feel such love for her and such pain for what she has been through.

I also feel so sad at the supervision it will require to keep her safe.  They are now assigning her someone to walk her everywhere.  That’s very smart.  But, it’s kind of sad, too.

It’s weird how life is going along fine and then, one day, one event, kind of guts you and makes you feel so humbled all over again.  This has really hit me and I am not even sure why.  Just so very sad about it on so many levels.  And, yet, so expected. 

We had already planned a trip to Chicago for the weekend because I had a huge trial this week.  We went with a friend and her child and a lot of the weekend was spent supervising – like a hawk.

Yet, the sweet thing was that one afternoon, I reached out my hand to Angie and she took it and just held on.  I think sometimes the grief I feel is the grief from *knowing* what abuse does to child.  If that’s not bad enough, it happened to a child I love.  Sometimes the reality of that just jolts me and today is one of those days.

Thanks for listening my friends.  I really appreciate you all so much.  You are amazing – beyond amazing.  No one ever tells you enough.  I am proud to be with you fighting on behalf of our kids.  The work we do is so important.  I feel like I am on a mother’s team that no one ever wanted to join.  But, if I have to be on it, I am blessed to be on it with you.

As so many of us parents have found out the hard way, the process for identifying help for our children with attachment and trauma issues is uncharted territory. Along the way, many of us get bad advice, are offered well-meaning but ineffective treatments, spend huge amounts of time, effort, and money, and end up with older children with even bigger problems. Needless to say, this has devastating effects on our children’s futures and on our families’ wellbeing.

We usually have arrived at the choice of residential placement for our child, and specifically CALO, when we believe that we are out of options for keeping him or her safe at home and on-track to a happier future. This decision is never easy, and usually is arrived at accompanied by remorse, guilt, and sadness. (And sometimes followed by huge relief!)

In retrospect, I regret the lost years I spent trying behavioral charts, rewards and punishment, talk therapy, and other interventions that seemed to have no effect. It was a very long learning curve. What remains somewhat shocking to me is the lack of information and insight on the part of school professionals, psychologists, and social services people. What angers me is the financial and other obstacles put in the way of getting appropriate help for our kids.

In the absence of truly adequate mental health resources nationally, parents are forced to piece together fragments of information and assistance and then take a leap of faith. Unfortunately, there are many counseling, consulting, residential, and other services that represent themselves as specialists that can meet the needs of RAD kids.  Mostly, they cannot.  And we stand isolated and alone, trying to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak, in the troubled teen “industry.”

In my opinion, the onus is on us, the parents, to educate ourselves as well as others, and to press for change. Those of us in the CALO family can begin by sharing information amongst ourselves.  I look forward to communicating with other parents through the Attachment and Trauma Network’s CALO parents network, which should be operational soon. And I believe that we have the power to translate the knowledge we have gained into advocacy for our own children and into making the journey easier for others.    

-         Susan H., CALO parent

With all the changes in the economy and the changes in healthcare, CALO has searched for additional avenues of financial aid to help support families that feel CALO is the right fit for their child/family but are unable to fund their child’s treatment without help. In the last four years….

CALO has actively:

·        Researched and pursued Medicaid contracts as appropriate for individual students.

·        Pursued single case agreements with specific insurance companies for individual students.

·        Pursued facility based contracts with AETNA, Blue Cross Blue Shield, CIGNA and United Behavioral Healthcare.

·        Researched and pursued state adoption subsidy support for appropriate students.

·        Located experts in the insurance field to help families navigate the insurance appeals process.

·        Researched and pursued educational loan opportunities for families.

·        Provided limited scholarships to appropriate families.

·        Added 24/7 nursing staff to help increase the insurance benefits that are available for our families.

·        Pursued and achieved approved private agency status with the Missouri Department of Elementary and Secondary Education   

         (DESE) as of way of supporting families pursuing school board funding.

·        Pursued and achieved Joint Commission accreditation.

·        Pursed and achieved state licensure.

CALO continues to:

·        File insurance forms directly to insurance companies monthly as requested by our families.

·        Submit and resubmit forms and requests by the insurance company for general invoicing and appeals purposes.

·        Provide mental health information for insurance appeals as requested by our families.

·        Insurance pre and ongoing authorizations.

·        Continue to research and pursue other revenue sources.

Due to all our efforts, CALO has seen a significant increase in the number of families receiving all or partial reimbursement from their insurance companies. Statistics in regard to families receiving insurance support:

Insurance Benefits                         2007    2008    2009    2010

Therapy Session coverage           0          10        19         20

Partial Residential coverage          0           2         7           7

Full Residential coverage              1           4         7           11     .

CALO is committed to continuing to search for outside funding sources to support current and potential families.

ATTACh (The Association for the Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children) is offering a benefit to CALO to provide our parents and guardians which I wanted to pass on to you.  You will receive the username and password in an email shortly. I have copied and pasted the letter from ATTACh below:

NEW ORGANIZATIONAL MEMBERSHIP BENEFIT

ATTACh is piloting a new program as a benefit to organizational membership.  We will be offering Parent Membership to your clients, who are not currently members of ATTACh, for the rest of the fiscal year (ending June 30^th) at the reduced rate of $25. 

If you have families you are serving, who may be interested in ATTACh membership, please direct them to our website at www.attach.org.  Under the Membership tab, as a sub tab to Online Membership Application, is a link to the application.  This reduced rate is limited to families of ATTACh Organizations and is password protected.  Along with the Parent Listserv, ATTACh also conducts bi-monthly parent support conference calls, which your families may find beneficial.

Thank you for your continued support of ATTACh!

Sincerely,

ATTACh

Lynn L. Wetterberg

Executive Director

Below I am posting a letter from a CALO parent. She shares some of her feelings on the treatment process and what it is like to parent a child with a traumatic history and corresponding  emotional and behavioral problems. In her own words:

Lately, I have been spending time on the Attachment and Trauma Network (ATN) web site, where I listened to a radio interview with Nancy Spoolstra, ATN’s founder, as a build-up to a 2007 conference on parenting traumatized children.

Much of the content of the interview was familiar, but I liked hearing it broken down for the layman, so to speak. In addition, some of what was said reminded me of the lessons I am only just learning or have yet to learn.

Nancy described how oftentimes our kids at an early age appear to merely be “strong-willed” children, and that we parents lack the frame of reference for what is really going on. I recall that when my troubled (and troubling) children were little I read a range of books from Dobson’s “Dare to Discipline” to “How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk.” I still think there was much of value in those books, but none addressed the “hardwiring” issue that seems to be manifest in many of our RAD or traumatized children. So I spent years of frustration trying one technique after another and spending thousands on counseling and psychotherapy; and feeling worse about myself and my ability to parent.

The message I had internalized was that by loving them enough and by setting up the structures around them, my kids should be fine. The fact that they weren’t fine reflected badly on me.

The bottom line was that for a variety of reasons – both biochemical and psychological – my kids were unwilling to be parented. The normal reciprocity and safety of a child/caregiver relationship had broken down. The loss and grief issues they were experiencing had not been addressed, but rather had crystallized into an attitude of being the only ones looking out for themselves. They were unfamiliar with and resistant to intimacy.

As our children get older the stakes get higher. As teens they are much smarter and more mobile than hard-to-manage toddlers! And thus they are able to get into more dangerous and unhealthy situations. Our RAD teens are able to push all the right buttons to manipulate us and push us away as a survival mechanism, but it is one that ultimately turns against them. We parents then scramble to try to get them the age-appropriate help they need and to keep our families safe at the same time.

We must learn to parent with “love and logic,” as Spoolstra says. But – and this really stuck with me – we also have to put the burden of responsibility on the child. Our children might decide to work through their issues, but our kids need to be willing to risk it.

I am grateful that today I have the resources to help me understand and deal with my family’s reality, and to offer my children tools for healing some of their pain. My hope is that they will begin to face their future with confidence and optimism. But I now realize that so much of what has happened, along with the current emotional life of my hurt children, is beyond my control.

I am not immune from sometimes feeling overwhelming guilt – especially when blamed by others. However, I am humbled knowing that I am only one of the players in this drama, that I am still learning my role, and that I must turn to others for insight and support.

- Susan H., CALO parent

Parents, guardians and family members who were able to join us last month for our second parent retreat can testify to the powerful support from connecting with one another.  During our retreat a CALO parent, Annelieke, shared with me the success her daugther is having academically since graduating CALO. This success is in part to the special focus of a school she is attending in the East. This post, sent from Annelieke and her husband Peter, is shared to provide an option for parents and guardians looking for academic resources. 

     While our daughter was completing high school at CALO and preparing for her graduation from there, one big question for us was, where can she continue her education with success, if that is what she chooses to do. We have been very fortunate to have found one school that, at this point, two months into her first semester, is working for her beautifully. We wanted to share what we know about this school for parents who are looking as we were.

     To backtrack a little, we and she used to assume that continuing education would be the natural plan. But as she prepared to leave CALO, and with Abby's help, applied to  college from there, we were really nervous about our daughter's future, her ability to deal with changes, academic stress and social life.  Where we got lucky was that down the road from us is The University of Hartford, in West Hartford, CT.

    What we found there was an admissions department that would look at a non-traditional curriculum, was willing to take a risk, and a college within the University called Hillyer that offered the same core courses as other Freshmen get, but with small classes and a lot of faculty support.

    Hillyer is deeply committed to students who want an education but have not had the luxury of a great high school, students  who have had interrupted transcripts from more than one Secondary School, students who test well in one area but poorly in another, students who have learning disabilities and  students who show promise but need extra support. Almost all classes are taught by  PhDs, classes are small, and the work load is paced for success. Our daughter is learning the same material as other Freshmen at the University but she is getting more support while she does it. She sees her Faculty Advisor as often as she needs to. She has chosen to live at home, but does not feel marginalized because of that. The atmosphere is inclusive and the student body very diverse. At the end of two years, if all goes well, she will receive her Associate's Degree at an emotional graduation (we have heard this), and then proceed to her declared major at the University or transfer elsewhere. And I can tell you that she loves her classes and has not missed one.

      It may seem early for us to be talking up Hillyer and the University of Hartford, but even if our daughter does not graduate from there, we believe that this school, especially for East Coast families who are closer, has a lot of promise for our kids.

     One thing we learned during the application process is that a transcript from Park City and with CALO time in it can confuse admissions personnel. That happened to us. For this reason, our advice is to have your consultant, college advisor or even yourself, as I did, call Admissions and speak to the Director, or call the Dean directly. When I discovered that our daughter's application was not on the radar, the college advisor at her old school called the University for me. Abby, Academic Director at CALO, was extremely helpful during this process as well, and the support our daughter felt from CALO to continue her education was  instrumental in getting her as far as she is.

     We are happy to speak with any CALO parents about Hillyer in more detail. CALO can give you our telephone number, and for those college bound students and you, good luck!

 Peter and Annelieke Schauer