Thursday September 1^st - Friday September 2^nd  

Theme:  Making Things Go Right

Parents/Guardians,

As most of you know by now we are less than a month away from our fourth semi-annual parent retreat Thursday September 1^st - Friday September 2nd. Naturally there are lots of questions so this blog post is here to answer and provide details.

While each retreat has a similar structure, the retreat this year, based on parent feedback from our spring retreat, will be more practical and skill-set focused. Most parents/guardians (hereafter referred to as parents) continue to enjoy our retreats a great deal. In fact, suggestions for improvement dropped considerably in our Spring retreat which indicates we are finding our sweet spot. The consistent piece of feedback is the desire for more tangible, “take-home” tools while still maintaining the other benefits of the retreat (interacting with other parents/families, interacting with CALO staff, support groups, being off campus, no cost to parents, and spending quality time in a structured environment with CALO student).

This retreat will mark the fourth different location in as many events; providing another unique experience with a variety of activities/events.

The retreat is for all current and former CALO parents and students. In order to attend we need you to please RSVP your current or former CALO therapist if you have not already done so by this Friday, August 12^th as we need to provide final numbers to the retreat hosts. Please note that all participating parents will be responsible for their student during the retreat time (please discuss concerns with therapist prior to retreat).

Thursday Highlights

Parent Breakfast (8:00 AM) in CALO conference room

Parent Seminar

Travel to retreat location

Therapeutic Activities

Parent Support Groups

Friday Highlights

Therapeutic Activities

Family Time

Slide Show

Ending around 2:30PM or so (may change slightly)

Clothing/Gear List

Hat

Rain jacket

Shirts

Shorts/pants

Socks/Shoes

Sandals

Underwear

Sunscreen

Insect repellant

Lip balm

Toiletries including soap and shampoo

Flashlight

Conservative and appropriate swimwear

Towels

Sleeping attire

Camera (confidentiality restrictions) - only pictures of you, your student, facilities and/or staff (no other pictures of students)

No pocket knives, weapons, fireworks, matches, or other dangerous tiems

Parents are strongly discouraged from bringing excessive or distracting items (i.e. I-Pods, cell phones, etc.)

Q&A

Will CALO or the retreat location be providing bedding, pillows and/or towels for this retreat?

·         CALO will arrange for students attending to have their sleeping bag, pillow, and towel. Parents, however, will just need to bring a towel as linens will be provided. 

Do I need to bring any food or snacks?

·         You may bring your own snacks but CALO will be providing water/drinks and a variety of snacks. CALO/retreat will also provide three meals on Thursday and two meals on Friday. 

How strenuous will this be?

·        We try to be sensitive and understanding of any physical limitations parents may have. Wearing comfortable clothing and good walking shoes is a must. It would also be wise to rest up before the retreat as we do want to maximize our time together. Parents with special needs or circumstances should make these clearly known to the CALO therapist as soon as possible. In addition, parents wishing to rent a golf cart may do so for $20. The cost will cover usage on both Thursday and Friday (students are not permitted to drive the carts). Please let your CALO therapist know of this request as soon as you can.

What will the weather be like?

·         We have experienced a very hot summer here in mid Missouri and it should be plenty warm during the retreat as well. Check the weather forecasts before the trip but plan on fluctuating temperatures from the 90’s during the day to 60’s during late evening-morning hours. It would also be wise to anticipate rain and wind.

What are the costs for this?  Do I need to bring any spending money?

·         Our plan is for parent retreats to continue to be a part of tuition. This retreat is no different as there are no additional costs to parents. Depending on future locations and costs, we may ask parents to pay a portion of the expenses. However, we will do everything possible to create a variety of experiences during our retreats while trying to keep costs down. So far we feel like we have done that. 

What are the sleeping arrangements like?

·         This retreat will feature motel sleeping arrangements. Each family will have their own unit featuring two double beds. Students with two parents visiting will bring their own sleeping pad, sleeping bag and pillow and sleep on the floor. Each motel room has running water, restrooms, showers, and electrical outlets.

What if I have an off campus or home visit right after the retreat?

·         Please be in close contact with your CALO therapist about post-retreat plans.  We want to make the transition as smooth as possible so families are able to leave the retreat and immediately begin home visits without an extra return trip to CALO if possible.  In order for this to happen your therapist needs details (exact times of visits, medication expectations, off campus belongings needed, etc.)

When do I need to show up for the retreat and when will it end?

·         Please arrive at CALO on Thursday morning at 8:00am but no later than 8:10am.  Please head straight to the conference room for breakfast.  The retreat will end by 2:30-3:00PM on Friday.

My child is asking for me to bring his I-Pod, l-Pad, and/or (electronic).  What should I do?

·         Tell him you are looking forward to the retreat focusing on your relationship and you would rather not have distractions.  We strongly discourage any electronic equipment to be brought to the retreat for students to use. 

What if I get nervous, anxious or concerned about my child’s behavior during the retreat?

·         Stay in frequent communication with your therapist and coaches.  Feel free to ask for help or support at any time. 

How else should I prepare for the retreat?

·         Our first three retreats laid the foundation for this and future retreats in respect to creating safe, meaningful, and lasting memories. Be ready and open to learning, growing and connecting.

It was Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.”  This summer CALO students have discovered the truthfulness of this statement as they have focused on learning a number of aquatic skills.  Whether it is believing in yourself enough to pass of the challenging swim test, or learning to get up on water skis, our students have spent this summer exploring their own beliefs.

Self Efficacy is the understanding that your belief in success is a greater predictor of future success than past experience.  In order to help our students believe in their own ability to succeed it is important that they learn new skills sequentially, allowing them the opportunity to build on small successes. 

Recently I spent a fair amount of time helping one of our young ladies complete a swimming test in the beautiful Lake of the Ozarks.  She had already check off the requirements of floating on her back, treading water, demonstrating the three primary swimming strokes, and swimming a full 300 yards without stopping.  All that was left was the dreaded weight drop.  During this activity you must swim down ten feet and pick up a 5 pound weight off of the bottom of the lake floor.  After swimming it up to the surface of the water you must tread water for 20 seconds holding the weight above your head.  This is typically the final and most difficult portion of the swimming test. 

As I was helping one of our female students complete this task it was clear that she had no belief in herself that she was going to succeed.  She would duck her head in to the water for roughly three and a half seconds and then come dramatically out of the water gasping for air.  She then proceeded to explain that no matter how hard she tries there is no way she was going to be able to succeed.  She needed help, she needed a victory.

This young girl and I swam over to an area that was just five feet deep.  There we practiced over and over again picking up handfuls of dirt.  We talked about how difficult it is to dive down deep you’re your lungs full of air.  We discussed the importance of swimming vertically to decrease the distance to the lake floor.  Eventually we moved out to a depth of seven feet and then eight.  A week and a half later this young lady was grabbing dirt off of the bottom of the lake at ten feet deep.  When I proposed that she swim down and pick up the weight there was a certainty in her voice and a confidence in her face; she had no doubt she would succeed.

This process of building on success functions in any setting and with any skill.  The concepts are consistent, and what is even more exciting is that they are transferable.  When the young lady surfaced with the weight and passed off her swimming test there was an uproar with her peers and she received a swimming ovation.  As we talked about her success we were able to apply the principles of hard work, education and persistence to algebra, household chores, relationships and therapy as well.  Regardless of what struggle you are facing, “Whether you think you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.”

So often in life success is defined through comparison.  Rich people are deemed successful because they have more money than most.  Smart people are successful when they do better on standardized tests than others.  There is one major concern and frustration with this.  According to this definition of success, all of us, despite our best efforts, we will always be failures.  There will always be someone with more money; there will always be someone who does better than us at school, or at work.   We can never really achieve success if that success is based on comparison. 

While talking with some of our CALO students recently I learned of some of the struggles that have bothered them throughout their lives.  They look at others, and like themselves less.  They feel they are not as pretty, or athletic or musically inclined.  They feel like there is always something wrong with them and it makes it difficult for them to try new things and take risks.  Relationships are scary because they feel like they are not good enough.  They are craving opportunities to feel successful, but are not confident in their own abilities.

Our goal this year in Rec. Therapy is to redefine success.  We have adopted this year the definition of success described by Albert Bandura from Stanford University.  “Success is measured in terms of self-improvement rather than by triumphs over others.”  As we seek to improve ourselves rather than compare ourselves to others, we open the door to the possibility of truly loving ourselves.  This love of self creates a strong core belief that we are worth something, and that we are important.

In an attempt to help students feel success on a very personal and individual level, we are preparing for an extended bike ride.  Some students will ride 50 miles on this bike ride, some 100 and others will finish somewhere in between.  Their total distance is not important because what they will all experience is the opportunity to do their best and accomplish a difficult task that will require months of training.  They will demonstrate an ability to set and achieve goals.  Most importantly they will demonstrate self- improvement over the course of this recreational therapy sequence and in doing so they will experience true success.

So often in life success is defined through comparison.  Rich people are deemed successful because they have more money than most.  Smart people are successful when they do better on standardized tests than others.  There is one major concern and frustration with this.  According to this definition of success, all of us, despite our best efforts, we will always be failures.  There will always be someone with more money; there will always be someone who does better than us at school, or at work.   We can never really achieve success if that success is based on comparison. 

While talking with some of our CALO students recently I learned of some of the struggles that have bothered them throughout their lives.  They look at others, and like themselves less.  They feel they are not as pretty, or athletic or musically inclined.  They feel like there is always something wrong with them and it makes it difficult for them to try new things and take risks.  Relationships are scary because they feel like they are not good enough.  They are craving opportunities to feel successful, but are not confident in their own abilities.

Our goal this year in Rec. Therapy is to redefine success.  We have adopted this year the definition of success described by Albert Bandura from Stanford University.  “Success is measured in terms of self-improvement rather than by triumphs over others.”  As we seek to improve ourselves rather than compare ourselves to others, we open the door to the possibility of truly loving ourselves.  This love of self creates a strong core belief that we are worth something, and that we are important.

In an attempt to help students feel success on a very personal and individual level, we are preparing for an extended bike ride.  Some students will ride 50 miles on this bike ride, some 100 and others will finish somewhere in between.  Their total distance is not important because what they will all experience is the opportunity to do their best and accomplish a difficult task that will require months of training.  They will demonstrate an ability to set and achieve goals.  Most importantly they will demonstrate self- improvement over the course of this recreational therapy sequence and in doing so they will experience true success.